Good things gone

Nothing lasts forever. It’s true. I just realized, the only thing life has been trying to tell me is “never trust.” On anything. Even the ones you trust the most could easily leave. The people I thought I will be growing up close with, the people I thought will always be there for me, the people I thought I can always share all my stories with (and vice versa), they left. The people who are my ONLY, I repeat, ONLY, high school memory, they left. Thanks to The Downtown Fiction for creating a song that fits. One part of the song that fits the most is the sentence “Cause high school is the place where dreams go to die.” It’s true. At least for me, it’s been proven.

Is this cruel, vicious, savage things real life? If so, welcome to real life where nothing is on your side and everything is against you. Or maybe it’s just mine that is screwed? Even the only thing –bestfriends- I can remember from my high school, they slowly left. I have no memories from high school beside them, since I wasn’t allowed to enter any of the student activities/organizations, and should be directly going home after school. It seems like life has just taught me about friendship, and there’s no such thing. Is it true? Have I been wrong, for believing in friendship? Hey come on, those people around me, they have bestfriends. So I don’t deserve any, huh? Why?

My behaviour, my attitude, my style, is it the cause? Then what are bestfriends for if they don’t give solutions? What are bestfriends for if they don’t help each other? What are bestfriends if they hide up everything? Am I that one person –in a friendship circle- who’s being hated? Where do I belong, actually? Who’re destined to be my bestfriends?

Yes, it most probably be me, the cause of this ‘unknown break up’ of the friendship I used to have. I don’t know why, or what I did wrong, but I know it’s me. I can’t be any more sorry, but when you’re hated, no one will hear you.

Why am I start losing the people I love? My bestfriends, and this one specific person I currently have, this person starts fading, slowly, a bit by a bit. He starts having too much things to do, and (of course) the college schedule, almost all of his time is used, taken. And I can’t make him even more tired by asking some time of his free time, since he needs to have a rest. Will I lose this person, just like my bestfriends? Who do I deserve then?

So as a conclusion, I have no one left by my side. It looks like. I’m all alone. In this society. Vicious society. Life taught me not to trust anyone, and anything. Which is hard. I don’t know, all I ever wanted was love, from people around me. Family, bestfriends, boyfriends, etc. Is that too much to ask for?

This is not a pity-begging post, just a part of my thoughts. I can’t write this much on twitter without spamming, right? That’s why I write this here. Just, expressing, you know. Thank you and good night!