Enviousness

Noun: Enviousness [en-vee-us-nuss]
A feeling of grudging admiration and desire to have something that is possessed by another.

Yes. Enviousness. It's a long story about the girl I really envy. Not saying her name in this post, but let's say, R. R girl. So there's this girl, R girl, who I really envy. She has loads of friends, loads of bestfriends, a faithful guy bestfriend, is allowed to hang out often, is rich, is lucky, is creative, is not fat, is fashionable, she has a lot of people who care about her. A lot. I mean 8 out of 10 of her friends would say that she's their bestfriend and choose her above their other friends. You understand? She is a person I've ever wanted to be. Her life is the exact opposite of mine.  I want to live her life. So bad. She hangs out often. That's why she has a lot of friends. I want to be her. I want to be her. :(
She follows me on twitter. We follow each other because she is a bestfriend of someone I personally know. That doesn't change a thing. I still envy her. I do. Especially having a lot of friends who love her. I want to have a lot of friends who love me. That simple. But... can I?

Anyway, it's 2013. Welcome new year.